Loving Life...

I'm trying to do a bit of background reading on adaptive computer labs. I'm familiar with some of the computer tools that help people who are visually impaired or hard of hearing.

Are there specific computer tools that are useful for some aspies? Although I am a (mild) aspie, my limitations aren't the kind that would be helped in this way.

If you're an aspie student, does your college or university have an adaptive computer lab that you use? What do you use there?

Many thanks.

An update to my last post...(x-posted in apsecialparent and spectrum_parent).
It's long...I don't know how to put anything behind the cut. Sorry. Especially to those in both communities.


We had court today. The caseworker doesn't have a problem with Chance going back to his pediatrician and will mention it to the foster mom. Everyone in court decided that if the FM won't take him there, the caseworker will sign a release of information so the pediatrician will send the file to the new doctor. (did I mention I trust very few docs, as it is the fault of drs that my son is autistic, has a brain injury, among other things?)
I told the judge our pediatrician not only knows the history, but goes above and beyond for our family and it is in my son's best interest to continue with her. I don't know that it will make a difference. I should have reminded them the fm's choice in docs almost killed my son 18 months ago, but I didn't.

We have a new attorney. She told us it's very important that we remain involved with Chance. I know she's new to the case, but it's almost insulting when the person representing you tells you how to be good parents. She asked us if parenting classes would help. (I was infuriated, but I held my tongue) We placed him voluntarily because there was NO RESPITE!!!!! We needed a freakin' break! It was our only option. Through this whole process, WE have been the ones to advocate for our son. THe Guardian ad litem practically ruined it all, accused us of not knowing anything about CHance's disorders. Demanded that the court order us to take parenting classes, as if we haven't had any in the last 7 years, or through all the times he was institutionalized. I just wanted to scream. I thought we were finally past all that shit, then we get it from "OUR" attorney. THe previous attorney NEVER talked to us like we were idiots the way this one did. OK, not idiots, but like we had no clue about anything. Explaining things to us that we knew better than she did. I'm still livid )in case you can't see the steam coming out of my
ears.

The next step: Bruce and I will make a list of the ways we feel the foster family isn't the best placement for Chance, and we will meet with the caseworker. Hopefully we can get him placed somewhere else. Of course the caseworker told us facilities won't take him for more than a year. I told her his therapist suggested a long-term placement for one or two years, and if it was the right placement, one year should be enough. She said the behavior changes accomplished that way don't last long. I told her Chance isn't getting that help where he is now, and saying you won't place him in a facility because the changes won't last is like saying you give him any help because the help he could get isn't permanent.

I told the caseworker he doesn't follow the rules at our house, and she said he does at the foster home. Really? Is that why he hasn't had dessert in three months? Is that why his video games were taken away? Is that why I hear her yelling at him the same way I used to when I talk to him on the phone?

So we have planted the seed of the idea of placing him elsewhere. I know that the team next week (child and family caseworker, disability caseworker, faster mom, me, foster care coordinator, and therapist at school) will all say, except me, that he will do better in a family setting. Funny they would care, since he's just a job that the fm needs a vacation from. Funny, since he never goes skiing with them, but the 4 year old does. Funny since her kids can torment him but he gets in trouble if he says anything to them. Funny since she dresses him like a slob on clothes that are two sizes too big for him, and how she doesn't have time to take him to swim lessons or guitar lessons because she home-schools her kids, and has to take them to swim lessons, or "school of rock".

I am so sick of it all. And to top it all off, in addition to losing ALL benefits, including medicaid, if he comes home, I found out today that if we can't afford the child support anymore and want to bring him home, we have to petition the court. It was a freaking VOLUNTARY placement!!!!! You don't care for him, you don't give him any working therapy that will help him, and you thwart any hope we had of improving our relationship because you didn't understand the situation and what was needed, and now you tell us we're trapped, even if we're willing to go back to the constant hell we were in just so we can this new one?
AAAARRRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just needed to vent.

Let it be known that I love my husband dearly and I know that I'm extremely lucky to have him for countless reasons.

That said, he is driving me crazy. He has always viewed me as being on the fragile side, but this has escalated tremendously during the past year as we gained new additions to the family through adoption and a twin pregnancy. My husband has been such an amazing help... and I would now really like to enjoy motherhood without being told that I need to nap or otherwise de-stress when I do not. I find it sad that I am often asleep when our babies are awake! I'm their mother. I don't want my children to grow up thinking of their mother as someone who cannot take care of them, when I indeed can. It is wonderful that they have bonded so well with their father, but I'm not exactly keen on accidentally having there be an unfavorite parent. It is wonderful that my husband devotes himself to keeping me as relaxed as possible with all that's going on, but I feel like I'm missing a good chunk of this experience and that unnerves me in itself.

Every little thing seems to be about him wanting to do ... every little thing. I start dinner, he takes dinner out of the oven, resets the oven the way he likes it, restarts dinner while multitasking with other things, then serves dinner like that meal was all his idea in the first place. That was just this past night. It's been nearly every night these days.

I tell him what is bothering me, and his response is "I know" or "Don't worry" or something else completely direct, sincere and simple (which is just the way he is) that still seems to mean "Don't stress your pretty screwy fragile head over anything while I am here, because I am here and I can do everything and by the way, you're cute when you're harmlessly dysfunctional, but if you try to use the oven, you will burn the house down, because that's what I'm concerned about so it will happen because I think it will happen"... or something like that.

Trying to talk to him about this both makes me seem ungrateful and sends us in conversational loops. He'll start caressing me and asking me if I need help with [insert any barely relevant things here that I do need help with], to which I'll say that I do but that he knows I can do [insert whatever it was I actually was trying to do that he has seen me do many times before December 2008, including most things involving childcare], to which he'll continue to caress me while either bringing up the one time the whole year I overworked myself or did something careless while performing the task at hand, or he'll say that he knows but that I need all the rest I can get. While that's true, I don't want to feel useless!

Also of note, I was diagnosed as on the autistic spectrum shortly after giving birth this summer. The diagnosis came at an ironic time, after suspecting as much for years, though that's another story. I think this confirmed in my husband's mind that I am something helpless to help myself.

I start working again soon, at a part-time job as a private tutor. My husband will be home when I am gone, though he isn't enthusiastic about my working again after my being a stay-at-home mother for a little over a year. This job is so small, but I think he was hoping I would love the domestic life so much that I would lose all desire to work outside the home. I do love the domestic life and I'm not crazy about tutoring, but he's taken over domesticity and I ultimately feel similar to how I used to feel in workplaces. The word I'm looking for here is "invisible".

I don't want to end up confined to our bed with him opening letters for me because one time I randomly got a papercut opening letters. That sounds ridiculous, but that seems like what's going to happen in a year or two at this pace. Love him, appreciate him, and he's driving me absolutely crazy.

Lately I've noticed that whenever I adjust the tv volume at home I increase/decrease it to the nearest 5 or 0 (45, 70, etc). Then at work if someone is dropping off film to be developed at my photo lab, I almost always put the pick-up time as #:00, #:15, #:30, or #:45.

Is this an Aspie thing?

2amtomorning
If you find yourself at the crossroads of insomnia and insanity, this is the place to channel those demons that keep you sleepless. Vivid pictures, poetry, ruminations, and confessions from the nether hours between dusk and dawn. Originally formed to celebrate the city at night, there's a strong urban theme.

green_future
Dedicated to promoting global sustainability, this community offers a forum for discussing current environmental news, research, and issues with tips on how to make positive, pro-active changes to reduce carbon impact. You'll also find information on how to get involved in eco-activism and learn about events near you (i.e., act local; think global). Offering a wealth of data on earth-friendly products and practices, you'll be inspired to don an organic bamboo cape and save the planet.

wtf_sexism
Self-described as "a little community with a lot of rage," you can soak up impassioned vibes and read blistering exposes detailing sexist attitudes in the news, pop culture, and science! A must-join community if you are, or love, a feminist. (NB: the topic of whether a "man" can be a feminist is outside the scope of this spotlight, but will probably wind up on the Writer's Block.)

For those who don't know, and those who don't remember, Chance is in special needs foster care. We have him every other weekend, holidays, and special occasions. The foster mom says she doesn't have any problems with him, that he's doing very well. But when we have him, he's just the same as he was before he went into custody. At first, he was not as argumentative, more cooperative, more obedient and less defiant. We placed him for two reasons. 1: there was no respite available and we needed a break (more than twice a year when a relative would actually take him after offering), and 2: for treatment, as it was recommended he go into a long-term care facility for one or two years before coming home (since he'll likely live with us the rest of his life, we wanted to get a better handle on things rather than institutionalize him every couple of years).

I'm really pissed off about a bunch of things and just realized it would take forever to type it all. So I'll hit on the two most recent things. The foster mom's parents came up for Christmas around the 28th. They sent Chance to a respite house while the grandparents were here. The Fm told Chance that he's her job and she deserves a vacation sometimes. (she has so much daycare and respite for him I wonder when she actually sees him)
The second thing is the clothes she puts him in. The shirts are obviously too big for him (xl when he should be in a medium) and he brings home his custom T-shirts saying "Dawn says they're too small". Her own kids do not wear clothes that hang off them like Chance's.

She has never taken him to his own pediatrician. The first dr visit was to an insta-care where the doc who never saw him before changed the dose on one of his long-term psychotropic meds. Since then, she takes him to a man who has a "really good rapport" with him. Every time I mention taking him to our doc, she claims he gets along with this other doc. (when I was talking to my pediatrician about my other son, she mentioned Chance, so I asked her to write a letter to the court requesting she continue Chance's care)

SO....we go to court tomorrow. Every 3-4 months we do this, to see how things are going. I guess I need to vent. We pay child support, can't afford anything for Riley while Chance has everything (except affection on a daily basis), but if we bring him home, he loses all services, including SSI and medicaid for his meds. We never had one tenth the support the foster family gets, and they do things the way we did. We don't like the way they treat him. (I don't think they really consider his disabilities and are trying to make him NT). I'm disinclined to mention in court the way they treat him without first talking to the caseworker (who has been really good about understanding our situation) but I don't think I can bring myself to go in there, get attacked, and smile about it, knowing they have more support than we ever did and they are worse with him that we were. I can imagine the fall-out I'll get about the pediatrician.

Venting aside, would you recommend a facility where the workers can go home to get away from it, continue in foster care, or consider a therapeutic group home where there might not be the consistency he needs, depending on the company managing it and who they hire? Any feedback?

thanks

autism reality documentary - General Autism Discussion

I thought a lot of you would like to know about this.


One of my Giftmas presents was a new blanket, because my dad wanted to get me things emblazoned with my new university's logo (I start grad school classes in three weeks and I'm super happy about it), and he knows I like blankets a lot. But he also wanted to get me a new sweatshirt, because the one I've had for the last five years or so is losing its softness and getting really thin. But he couldn't find one in a color/design he liked. So he compromised and got me a sweatshirt blanket.

You guys, this is one of the greatest blanket inventions I have ever seen. It's 7 × 4.5 feet big, so it's plenty large enough to use as a cover to sleep with, or to use as a wrap when curled up and watching tv or using my laptop or studying, without being too big for the latter purposes.

But the really neat part is that it's made from sweatshirt material. So it's not super thick, but it is warm and has a nice weight to it, and it's incredibly soft on one side, with a slightly rougher texture on the other. I like it better than my fleece blanket, because of the dual texture and it being thinner. (Also, my fleece one isn't true fleece because of my wool allergy, and it's old and not as soft as it used to be.)


So if you're looking for a new blanket for whatever reason, I highly recommend searching out one of these sweatshirt blankets. It's absolutely wonderful!

A year ago, the following conversation by no means would have been possible:

Jamie:  5-4-3-2-1-BLAST OFF! ::sound effect, accompanied by him moving his hands in the air:: Da rocket ship!

Me:  Jamie, where's the rocket ship going?

::Jamie points up::

Me:  Is the rocket going up?

Jamie:  Up in da sky, to outer space.

Me:  What will the people in the rocket see up there in outer space?

Jamie:  ...Stars!

Me:  Yeah, lots of pretty stars!

Jamie:  It sparkles...oooh, so pwetty!  Sparkles in da sky.

Me:  Do they see anything else?

Jamie:  Da sun and da moon....an....planets.

Me:  Do you remember what planet we live on?

Jamie:  Blue!

Me:  ::laughing::  Well actually, yeah, it is sometimes called the Blue Planet...but do you remember the other name, the one that's not a color?

Jamie:  Da ERF!

~~~~~~~~~

For most four-and-two-thirds year olds, this conversation would be old news.  For Jamie, it's pretty damn impressive.  He's using his imagination, he's counting backwards, he's sharing knowledge, he's sharing an opinion, he's using sympathetic perspective, and he's having -- yes, by golly, it totally counts -- a CONVERSATION.  He used no echolalic language there, and everything (if we assume his use of "Blue!" to have been unexpected but applicable) was an appropriate response.  He was also never triggered by my taking the conversation somewhere his mind hadn't gone, never short-circuited during all that.  Of course, this isn't to say that it's always this way, now.  Still....a year ago, this would not have been possible.

renaissance2010
Turning to photography as a creative outlet during a valiant fight with breast cancer at age 34, renaissance10 survived and set up a photo contest to help raise funds for the Lavender Trust, a nonprofit that provides information and support to younger women with breast cancer. In the first two years, the competition brought in over £65,000 (that's $107,260.73 U.S.!), with entries from 130 countries last year. Renaissance10 recently joined LiveJournal to meet other passionate photographers and find supportive friends.

curiouscupcakes
Holy buttercream frosting! If you have a sweet tooth for sugary goodness or a wandering eye for whimsical confection, this is pure ecstasy iced in deliciousness. Hailing the beloved cupcake as the artisinal canvas of choice, you'll enjoy recipes, photos, and bountiful tips to bake up a batch, whether your taste leans toward French classics or funky and flavorful.

mission101
With New Years in the offing, it's an ideal time to reflect on past accomplishments, make peace with disappointments, and refocus the lens on future goals. This community welcomes you to create a bucket list of 101 things you plan to accomplish in the next 1,001 days. Offering support, guidance, and inspiration, this is a great way to jumpstart those pesky resolutions.

Crossposted to ask_an_aspie

Hi everyone.

To start off, I'll just introduce myself. I'm Mollie, I'm 18-years-old, and I'm neurotypical. My twin sister has Asperger's.

Ok, I just have a question. What is your view on the term "aspie"? My sister finds it very offensive. She always says, "You know what they call us? They call us ASPIES!" (I don't know who "they" are. She attends school in a private, mixed-age wing in a public high school. I doubt she's talking about the public high school students, most of whom probably don't know what Asperger's is.) Have you ever heard this term being used derogatorily?

I can identify to a certain extent. As a queer/genderqueerish person, I've come to embrace certain terms that have been typically used against the queer community in order to take the edge off of it and reclaim it so it can't be used against me. (Okay, I'm talking about the word "dyke". I used to be terribly offended by it and put off by people who use it- even queer women who use it jokingly or whatever. I feel differently about it now that I'm more comfortable with myself. Anyway, </rant>... this isn't about me.)

My sister is somewhat engaged in current events and the neurodiversity movement, though she has a tendency to read information and then regurgitate it without fully comprehending what it all means. Or maybe she does, but she communicates it in ways I don't fully understand. She's very talkative, but sometimes (in writing) she uses vocabulary words that just don't fit, so if that reflects her verbal communication or comprehension in any way....

Ok, sorry for all the ranting. Posing the question again: how do you (you as in each individual person reading this, not people with Asperger's in general) feel about being called/calling yourself an "Aspie"?

Thanks!

Molls

So I got diagnosed awhile ago now, and it explains so much, and I'm glad I'm not alone anymore. But my family's attitude hasn't changed. I'm still at the. bottom of the foodchain. There's three kids, I'm the oldest, but that's a joke. The two younger ones (they're not very much younger than I am) constantly gang up on me. Constantly. Sometimes I think I get it and they really are 'joking around' as they put it, but a lot of the time, when I'm really aspie ing out and it's been a long, touchy, social day, it's the last straw, and I beg, plead, for them to stop, but they get closer, and poke me, and ridicule me further I stutter through an explanation for my behavior, and they make fun of my explanation then. Anything weird and aspie that I do, they have to make fun of it. And then at dinner it's the whole family making fun of my tendencies. Maybe they are just 'joking around', but I don't think so. I'm the least able to defend myself, so they go for me first. When I was younger and it happened I would just run upstairs and slam the door to my room, nothing else works. Sometimes I feel the joking around vibe and I laugh at myself too, but mostly not (I'm a sensitive soul) and it's just a constant barrage of crap from all sides of the table. I try, these days, to verbally stop the harrassment (I thought the meaning of 'leave me alone' was obvious), but days like these, when it's already been too much, babysitting my wild cousin, and it's been all social and touchy (it's the holidays) I couldn't talk myself away from it (not that I ever really can), and it just escalated and got worse until I ran up to my room and slammed the door. At least now that I'm 21, I can sneak a beer upstairs with me. /end rant